I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
