Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize