I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
