its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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