too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
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I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
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I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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