Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
