Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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