I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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