he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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