Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
