Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
