umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's never too late to be topless.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
