i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
