i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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