12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
