Pappa wants mamma naked
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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