Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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