Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
