Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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