I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
