i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
