Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So I just went to clothing optional bar
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
