you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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