Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Holy sore nipples Batman
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
