those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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