If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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