If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
