Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
