Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
