Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize