a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize