I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Four minutes until I can fart!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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