you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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