How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
