we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
