guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
