Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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