Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize