What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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