Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
