Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
