what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
