Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
