man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
How naked do you want me to be?
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