pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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