i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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