I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
