White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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