I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
