He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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