Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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