She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
