u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Randomize
