I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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