Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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