just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
one might say we're banned from that church
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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