sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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