Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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