I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
