Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
So apparently I’m into choking now
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