The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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