it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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