i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
