There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
