hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
